How to seduce your wife.
This is an interesting question that a lot of men often ask after they’ve gotten married.
One look at married-life message boards, and you will see the same story, seemingly playing itself out over-and-over again in all too many marriages.
Man and woman meet. They fall in love. The sex is incredible. They get married.
Then… as if out of nowhere… the sex inevitably dips, begins to disappear, and sometimes even goes away altogether.
But why does this happen, and what can be done about it?
Is it possible to seduce your wife after you’re already married?
What Will I Learn?
- 1 How to Seduce Your Wife: The Good News…
- 2 Step 1: Start Taking Control of Your Life
- 3 Step 2: Start Taking Action to Level-Up in Life
- 4 Step 3: Get Into Better Shape
- 5 Step 4: Start Making Her a Priority
- 6 Step 5: Start Being a Strong, Independent Alpha Male in Your Own Life
- 7 Step 6: Step by Step Tips For How to Seduce Your Wife
- 8 Step 7: The Date
- 9 Step 8: How to Seduce Your Wife: in the Bedroom
- 10 Most Wives Don’t Often Think That Their Husbands Appreciate Them
- 11 In Conclusion
How to Seduce Your Wife: The Good News…
The good news is that you can absolutely seduce your wife.
But the bad news?
Well, it may not be easy.
As with all things, marriage changes us as people. When you get married, you enter into a new phase of life. And if you have children, this change becomes even more pronounced.
But that doesn’t mean that you can’t succeed. It just means that the game has changed.
So you need to have a new mindset and attitude about seduction, sex, and what it means to be the sexy alpha male your wife desires.
Women are NOT Frigid by Nature!
Contrary to what you might think, women don’t stop wanting sex after they get married and/or have children.
Not only is that a myth, it is also virtually the opposite of the truth.
Married women want sex just as much as single women, if not more. They crave that feeling of being desired, appreciated, and wanted.
They also crave the pleasure that comes from having amazing sex!
The only difference is that they might not be stimulated by the same old things anymore. They are also incredibly sensitive to the ‘growing old’ effect.
And to put it quite simply, a lot of husbands let themselves go after marriage. They stop pursuing their wives and putting effort into the relationship.
So let’s unpack the box and find out what to do.
Here are 8 no-nonsense tips to get you off the couch, and back into your marriage bed… complete with all of the hot, steamy passion you can handle!
Step 1: Start Taking Control of Your Life
Believe it or not, your wife’s attraction to you begins long before you slide between the sheets.
Marriage is a complicated social dynamic. You succeeded in courting and securing your wife as a long-term partner, and she succeeded at attracting a long-term mate.
But now, the game has changed.
There is a lot of complicated science woven into these dynamics, but I’m going to give it to you as simply as possible.
The number-one thing that women crave in a long-term relationship is resource potential. At the core of their instincts, they have evolved a mechanism to solve a huge problem that human females have dealt with all throughout history… the problem of their survival, and the survival of their young.
Marriage to a high-quality man helps women to solve this problem. By marrying a man and securing his commitment, she is ensuring that he will commit not only his time and attention, but also his resources to care for her and her children.
Obviously, nowadays, not all women are stay-at-home wives… but this instinct is still alive and well, and it is very good at spotting whether or not men are capable providers.
How Does This Manifest in Day to Day Life?
This doesn’t always mean that you are the sole breadwinner, or that you pay for everything.
But it does mean that women are very attracted to men who are, at the very least, just as responsible, successful, and ambitious as they are.
If your wife could be ranked as an 8 where responsibility is concerned, and you are ranked more at a 5 or 6, that is going to create problems for your sex life. You have to level yourself up to an 8!
Your wife is naturally programmed to be attracted to men who have it at least as together as she does, preferably more-so.
So when it comes to seducing your wife, you can start by getting better control of your life.
Start being more ambitious. Start taking more responsibility for finances, chores, bills, etc.
Step up and take control of the electric bill. Not necessarily paying for more than your fair share of it… but handling the actual payment of it.
Tell her “I have this. I’ll take care of it from now on,” and take responsibility for it.
Stop behaving like a ‘big kid,’ and start behaving more like a true leader.
Power and Leadership Are the Ultimate Aphrodisiacs For Married Women
Married women are incredibly turned on by my men who take control.
But this doesn’t even start in the bedroom.
Leadership is a huge turn-on for women. But you cannot lead if you don’t know how to regulate and control your own life!
So ditch the video games and start working to better yourself.
Speaking of that…
Step 2: Start Taking Action to Level-Up in Life
Take stock of your life.
Have you been progressing and getting better, or have you fallen into a level of comfortability and stagnation?
Have you been advancing at work? Have you been upgrading your house, lawn, car, etc.?
If you’ve been stagnating, odds are good that her desire for you is going to decline.
Women want their men to be constantly bettering themselves. That is a huge turn on.
So start taking responsibility for leveling-up your life. Get a promotion. Start reading self-help books. Get more ambitious. Become better every day.
Speaking of getting better…
Step 3: Get Into Better Shape
Yes, I know that so far, these tips might not seem like seduction tips.
But trust me.
These things matter far more than dirty talk or smooth moves!
Have you gotten flabby and fat since getting married?
If so, it’s time to get back to the gym. Put away the board games, video games, or fantasy football, and start lifting weights, building muscles, and getting into the best shape of your life.
Looks are not everything to women. In fact, men care far more about appearance than women do.
But at the same time, looks still do matter. Women in the past relied on strong, powerful men to protect them from enemies and predators.
So men who are in good condition, who are strong and athletic, are more likely to catch a woman’s eye than a man who is in poor physical condition.
Not necessarily because she needs him to protect her from predators… but because this has been passed down through years of evolution and problem-solving.
For past females in her genealogy, successful women solved the problem of protecting themselves and their young from predators by attracting powerful men to protect them.
And so, while the landscape has certainly changed for many women… the instinct to be with a physically powerful and athletic man has not.
Step 4: Start Making Her a Priority
Alright. Let’s start talking about the things that actually do translate specifically to your wife.
Priorities are a powerful thing. And one of the best ways to signal to a woman that she matters to you is to prioritize her.
How can you start prioritizing your wife? Well, there are a number of different things you can do.
- Start buying her flowers every once in a while
- When she talks to you, tune other things out and give her your undivided attention
- Do thoughtful things for her, like filling her car with gas and making sure the oil is changed
- When she cooks you dinner, sit down to it and express your thanks to her for preparing it
- When you make plans with your wife, mark them down on the calendar and show up 10 minutes early
In other words, you need to take her seriously and show her that she is incredibly important to you.
This may mean skipping out on some things you might normally otherwise do… but trust me, it’s worth it if you really want to seduce her.
If you want her to open up and go wild in the bedroom with you, you need to cultivate that passion and trust in the weeks, days, and hours before the clothes come off. And the better you get at showing her undivided attention when her turn for that attention comes, the more at ease she will feel with giving-in to all of your dirty, sexy fantasies.
But hand in hand with this, you also need to be your own person. Let’s talk about that for a moment as well.
Step 5: Start Being a Strong, Independent Alpha Male in Your Own Life
Women want to be prioritized. But they want to be prioritized by strong, powerful men who know exactly what they want.
This is a concept that a lot of men misunderstand. So I am going to lay the thought process out in such a way that, hopefully, those of you who don’t quite understand it can come to see exactly what it means.
- Women’s core sexual programming is based on solving problems to help give them and their offspring a better chance of survival
- Because of this, women are attracted to powerful alpha men, because attracting an alpha male and getting him to commit to her is, instinctively, the best thing she can do to protect herself and her offspring from danger
- When men prioritize their wives, they are sending what are called ‘commitment signals…’ signals that he is interested in her and plans to continue to prioritize her
- This is obviously pleasing to women, because it shows them that the man actually cares for them
- But… women are also hypergamous by nature, and a very important part of their core sexual programming is to always try to be with the most powerful man they can be with
- So if you always prioritize your wife, but never prioritize yourself, there is a chance that your wife will actually start to see you as a weaker man, and thus, may grow bored or tired of the relationship after a while
This is why it is important to find a very delicate balance in prioritizing her, but also prioritizing yourself. You want to prioritize your wife, but you also need to have time set aside that is yours, in which you prioritize yourself over everything else.
Balancing Your Life and Wife Accordingly
Many men find it difficult to strike this balance. But if you can manage to do it well, it will actually really increase your wife’s attraction and desire for you.
Why? Because two character traits that very powerful men tend to cultivate are individuality, and self-prioritization.
So when you do these things, your wife will crave your attention. And then, when you finally give it to her, she will relish it. Then, when you switch back to doing your own thing and prioritizing yourself, she will start to crave you again…and this is part of what keeps relationships sexually exciting.
I’ll give you a very specific example.
When it is time for date-night with my girlfriend, I make her the sole object of my attention. I put my phone away, I take her to dinner, I dress up nice for her, I listen to her, we talk and laugh, etc.
But on evenings when I need to work, she knows not to even speak to me unless I speak to her first. Why? Because I’ve asked her to give me that space for me to do my work in.
She has, on multiple occasions, expressed that me requiring this space is difficult for her, because she is always wanting to come talk with me, hang out, etc.
But I draw that boundary, and she respects it.
And that makes her that much more excited for the times we do get to connect again.
Men need to understand how to balance these two things. Once they learn this balance, they can learn to pay attention to the levels of desire that their wife is displaying, and seduce her accordingly.
They can also learn how to prioritize themselves to such a degree that they are not only cultivating excellence in their lives and taking care of their business… but also cultivating strong desire with their wife by having that healthy boundary, and asking her to respect it.
This makes the man a stronger, better man. And it also makes him more attractive to her.
But how can you attract your wife, seduce her, and drive her wild with lust and excitement?
That’s a very good question… and leads us right to the next tip.
Step 6: Step by Step Tips For How to Seduce Your Wife
Alright. At this point, you have managed to master the balance between giving her devoted time and attention, and also doing your own thing on your own time.
You have also learned how to draw healthy, appropriate boundaries for these times.
Awesome. The next step is to determine exactly when the best time is to seduce your wife.
And this is where I am going to give you some pretty common-sense, but surprisingly little-known information that you can use as a secret weapon to really blow the roof off your seduction tactics, and give yourself the best odds for success!
A Little Known Secret Weapon to Seduction…
If you plan to seduce your wife, it usually works best to schedule some time to do other things beforehand. So, if you plan to take her out to dinner and get a room, it is probably better if the two or three days beforehand, you plan to do some other things instead.
Go out with your guy friends. Play some sports. Hit the gym. Do things you enjoy, that will also contribute to your life in a positive way. This will tend to give both you and your wife the distance you need to really start missing and desiring one-another.
That is a pretty key part to making this work!
Next, plan out a devoted evening for her.
It is actually seen as kind of lazy if a man just goes in for sex with his wife, and considers that seduction.
And in all honesty, women have a pretty good reason to feel this way.
So take the initiative, and plan something awesome.
Take her out to dinner. Take her ice skating. Take her out to a movie. Buy her concert tickets.
Put effort into planning something special together, and let her know to be free on that day. Plan to devote the day (or at least those few hours) completely to her! Also set some nice clothes aside (or better yet, buy some brand new clothes and surprise her).
You can also buy her a nice dress, or tell her what to wear. Tell her you like the slutty dress she keeps in the back of the closet, or those tight jeans she wears.
Don’t be afraid to take control.
Don’t be fooled. Even women who are usually very dominant in their everyday lives love it when their husbands take control.
If she puts up strong resistance to you taking control, stand your ground firmly. This is probably a signal that you have not been taking control enough, and she is testing you.
That’s your own fault! So fix it by taking more control from now on, and don’t be afraid to do so.
Take charge, and plan the entire thing.
Step 7: The Date
The date and time for the date arrives. You are dressed to the nines, have done your hair, have put on some awesome aftershave, and have on your best shoes.
You are dressed like a true alpha male, and it shows.
She is all dressed up for you.
Now, don’t think that this is the end of the road, and fast-forward to the bedroom.
You need to start seducing her now.
And to do so, you need to follow some of these tips.
Step 1: You drive. You might want to tell her where you are going, or you can surprise her. It is totally up to you. But on the way, ask her about her day. After driving a few miles, reach over and take her hand. Give it a little kiss. Let her know how much you’ve been looking forward to this.
Step 2: Compliment her outfit. Don’t gush… but give her a few well-placed compliments.
Tell her that you love her makeup, her shoes, her dress… whatever it is that you love about it. Tell her that her legs look amazing, that you love her style, that she has beautiful eyes, etc.
For best results, make sure that you compliment things that she has control over. For example… she did her makeup, so compliment it. She chose the dress, so compliment it. She chose the jewelry, so tell her that ‘you love how silver looks against her skin.’
Step 3: Stay engaged in her during your date. Unless you need it for Google Maps or to play music, don’t even take out your phone. Let your texts, emails, and calls go. You can check them tomorrow.
If you want your wife to treat you like a king, she deserves to be treated like a queen.
Your evenings on your own were your times to do what you wanted. But tonight is all about her.
You are investing time into her. You are listening to her. You are intently hanging on every word, making her feel loved, wanted, and heard.
This attention will drive her crazy!
Flirt with her, engage her in conversation, make her laugh, tell pleasant jokes, etc.
Step 4: Avoid serious conversations. Tonight is all about seduction.
Don’t talk about money problems, the mortgage, that fight you had last week… all of that gets put on hold tonight. Tonight, you are seducing the woman you love, and you are doing a damn good job of it.
If she brings up some kind of concern, lay it to rest and tell her that you’ll take care of it. Be her strong protector. Be a pillar that she can lean on. If she is having an emotional night, make it about her feelings. Get her a coffee, or some chocolate… do whatever you think will make her feel better.
And perhaps most importantly… get rid of expectations.
When an alpha male seduces a woman, he doesn’t do so because he is planning his own reward. Seeing her happy, watching her react to the pleasant surprises, seeing her smile as they flirt and laugh, and knowing that she is having a great time are all the payment he is seeking.
Of course, ironically, with such an attitude, you are actually far more likely to seduce her right into the bedroom anyway… because that’s what she really wants.
She wants her man to be focused on her. She wants him to want her, but she also wants him to be strong enough that he is just as fine putting her to bed alone as he is with going to bed with her.
And that kind of strength, that ‘almost-indifference,’ is exactly the kind of thing that will drive her wild. You maintain the mystery. In fact, you may not even mention sex while you’re on your date!
If you can get to the point where she is asking, inquiring, or outright begging you for sex… you’ve definitely done your job correctly!
Step 8: How to Seduce Your Wife: in the Bedroom
When you get to that magic moment… here are some steps and tips to take into account.
Continue to keep the mystery alive. Don’t jump on her like she’s the last piece of meat left on the planet!
Instead, take your time and savour her with your yes before you even touch her with your hands.
Place her in the middle of the room. Walk around her, admiring her from every direction. Don’t hide your lust for her. Let her know with your eyes exactly what you’re looking at.
By this point in the evening, if you have done your job well and she is feeling the same way… she will be dying for you to put your hands on her.
That’s exactly why you make her wait… just a little bit.
Take her hand and lead her to the bed. Walk behind her, and place gentle kisses on her neck. Smell her perfume. Inhale her essence.
Brush your hands against her, placing light touches on all of your favorite parts of her.
You are not rushing to get her clothes off, unless that is the kind of mood you are both in!
But we are not necessarily talking about animalistic sex… we are talking about slow and sensual seduction.
Don’t Do Much Talking
If you do talk, make it directly about her and the fact that you want her. You can also engage in a little bit of heavy flirting or dirty talk. You can also give her commands or tasks.
Take off your shirt.
Give me your panties.
Get on your knees.
Lay down on the bed.
But don’t try to bring up that detail from dinner… that thing about the bills you forgot to talk about… that thing that was bothering you yesterday…
Leave those things at the door. This is all about your desire for your wife. You are a lion, and all you care about is mating with your queen. You are an alpha animal right now.
So don’t say anything that doesn’t stay on-theme with that.
Remember… this is all about seduction. Nothing else matters right now.
The Foundation 0f Seduction Lies Within Your Attitude
Right now, your attitude toward her is the most important thing to think about.
It is also super important to remember your place.
Right now, you are her strong pillar. You are the man who loves her, and she is the only woman in the world to you.
She also needs you to be 100% ok. She needs you to be able to listen, pay attention, feel, and experience her without putting your needs into the mix.
You have no needs right now. You have lust and desire, and you are about to satiate those things with her body. She is not here to please you. She is here because you want her here, and because you plan to devour her in your lust and desire.
Try not to think of this as a situation where you are getting your needs met by her. Think of this as a situation where you are taking charge, and having a sexual experience along with her.
You can almost think of it as taking what you want and desire from her… dominating her in the sense that you are not relying on her to please you. You are perfectly fine to please yourself by indulging in this experience with her.
You are asserting dominance… but you are also doing it in a way that is genuine to yourself, that allows you to be your own authentic person, and that also gives her room to be fun, spontaneous, playful, etc.
You also need to have an attitude of openness. If she opens up and does a little bit of dirty talking… make her feel at ease about it by meeting it with a bit of your own!
Tell her what you want and what you like.
I like it when you talk dirty like that.
I like it when you move like that.
It pleases me very much when you kiss me there… you are a dangerous woman!
If she takes a risk and makes a move that she doesn’t usually make… reward her with praise and tell her how pleasing it is to you!
You would be surprised at how much your wife wants to win your approval… especially in the bedroom!
Most Wives Don’t Often Think That Their Husbands Appreciate Them
Believe it or not, a lot of women struggle with feeling sexually appreciated by their husbands.
This is often because as life gets busy, it can be easy to overlook things that are in front of you everyday. We all do it!
But on date night, when the time comes to seduce her, break through this barrier by…
- Paying undivided attention to her
- Relishing her beauty
- Indulging in her sexually, in ways that you haven’t done since you were just dating!
- Taking sexy risks with her and putting your naughtiest desires out there for her to experience
- Taking charge and showing her that she is a woman worthy of the time and approval of a true, powerful alpha male
You now know everything you need to dominate her and make her feel like a true queen!
Here at Male Ambition, we want men to succeed. And hopefully, this post will give you everything you need to be a true conqueror as a husband in the bedroom!
If you do all of this correctly, and if there is any sort of chemistry or passion left in your marriage, you will see results.
Just remember that it can take time. Learning how to seduce your wife is not always easy. Just stick with it, and you’ll get it figured out!
Joshua Sigafus is an experienced writer trying to make the world a better place. You can reach out to him on Facebook.