Every man wants to be the best that they can possibly be, and succeed to the greatest extent possible. Men want to succeed not just at their jobs, but also with women, with money, with prestige, and with power.
And as it turns out, alpha males have huge advantages in all of these different categories.
Some people think that the ‘alpha male’ mentality is a myth… perpetuated by faulty science on the behavior of wolves. But even though alpha-male behavior manifests itself differently in humans than it does in the animal kingdom, it still plays a powerful role in how successful men become across different categories and in their varied, different social circles.
Is it possible for a man to learn how to be an alpha male, or are humans just born one way or the other?
This is an excellent question. The truth is that you can learn to be an alpha male. And in this article, we’re going to show you how.
But first, let’s talk about what an alpha male is, and what he is not.
What Will I Learn?
- 1 What is an Alpha Male?
- 2 Alpha Male Body Language
- 3 Alpha Male Personality Traits
- 4 Alpha Male Mindset
- 5 Alpha Male Behavior
- 6 Alpha Male Clothing
- 7 Alpha Male VS Beta Male VS Omega Male
- 8 Can You Become Alpha Male?
- 9 25 Steps to Help You Become an Alpha Male
- 9.1 Step 1. Practice Self Awareness
- 9.2 Step 2. Stop Complaining
- 9.3 Step 3. Stop Making Excuses
- 9.4 Step 4. Find Your Purpose and Pursue It
- 9.5 Step 5. Face Your Fears
- 9.6 Step 6. Start Believing in Yourself
- 9.7 Step 7. Become Self-Reliant
- 9.8 Step 8. Start Getting into Shape
- 9.9 Step 9. Be a Man of Your Word
- 9.10 Step 10. Don’t Be Afraid of Failure
- 9.11 Step 11. Seek Challenges in Combat
- 9.12 Step 12. Be Aware of Your Wardrobe
- 9.13 Step 13. Read More Books
- 9.14 Step 14. Learn How to Be Successful With Women
- 9.15 Step 15. Constantly Push Yourself to Broader Limits and Horizons
- 9.16 Step 16. Be Mindful of Your Money
- 9.17 Step 17. Learn How to Treat a Woman
- 9.18 Step 18. Constantly Seek Adventure
- 9.19 Step 19. Watch Your Body Language
- 9.20 Step 20. Avoid Living in Negativity
- 9.21 Step 21. Live Responsibly
- 9.22 Step 22. Build Other People Up
- 9.23 Step 23. Be Aware of Your Own Mortality
- 9.24 Step 24. Get Your Priorities Sorted Out
- 9.25 Step 25. Be Good Without Expecting Anything in Return
- 10 My 3 Favorite Alpha Male Books with Alpha Male Training
- 11 In Conclusion
What is an Alpha Male?
Speaking from a simple technical standpoint, an alpha male is ‘the dominant male animal in a particular group.’ As far as humans are concerned, the alpha male is usually the person who exhibits the highest level of social dominance in any particular setting.
This is partly what distinguishes alpha males in the animal kingdom from alpha males among humans.
The term ‘alpha male’ often conjures up images of a wolf pack. According to David Mech, who proposed the idea of the ‘alpha’ in his book The Wolf: Ecology and Behavior of an Endangered Species, the alpha wolf in a wolf pack ‘won’ dominance over the pack, and a place at the top of the hierarchy, by winning violent fights with other wolves and ‘asserting his dominance’ over the group.
In other words, he described the ascendency of a wolf to the top of the group’s hierarchical structure as a violent, aggressive affair… and so, that has provide humans with one way to look at the alpha male mentality.
This is why some people think of aggression, violence, and dominance when they think of the term ‘alpha male.’
David Mech’s book was published back in 1970, and become a huge sensation among people who loved the idea of the ‘alpha male.’
But Mech later recanted on this position in a paper he published in 1999, after observing wolves in the wild. He reported that, contrary to what he had come to believe by observing wolves in captivity, these violent ‘contests between alpha wolves’ were actually not the norm. They happened in captivity, but not in the wild.
Instead, mature wolves in the wild would split from their packs when the time came to seek out a sexual companion. Then, after finding a mate, these wolves would form their own packs… and would naturally assume the dominant roles in the new pack.
The pack would grow as they had pups, and that was where wolf packs came from.
And so, we see that the concept of the alpha male is actually often misunderstood. Some men see the journey toward alpha-male status as a violent affair in which one male asserts physical dominance over his competitors.
But in truth, alpha male mentality has more to do with the delicate and subtle natural hierarchies of human social circles. Social dominance is actually a very real phenomenon, and it can be learned… just as any other type of skill or craft can be learned.
But what exactly is social dominance, and what does it entail? How can a man learn to use it, and how can it help him to further his goals?
In the end, social dominance has a lot more to do with how you are perceived by others than it has to do with what you do to overpower your opponents.
And becoming an alpha male, in truth, has more to do with gaining more control over your own thoughts, behaviors, and impulses than it does with you gaining control over someone else.
Let’s talk about some of the different categories, traits, and skills that fall under the umbrella of social dominance. These are the categories to pay attention to if you wish to level-up your skills as an alpha male in one or more of your own social groups.
Alpha Male Body Language
Body language is a huge part of what makes a man more ‘dominant’ in his social circles. The first and most obvious factor here is his height. Taller men actually have a ton of advantages when it comes to social dominance.
But even if you are not the tallest man, you can still learn about body language to help you improve your social standing.
There are a number of different body-language skills that men can learn that will not only make them feel more confident, but also look the part as well. Like it or not, women are attracted to a man with confidence. Confident men are also more likely to get raises, promotions, and special assignments at work.
9 Essential Qualities In Men That Every Alpha Woman Look For https://t.co/s15PWB1ADL #folkd
— AlphaMale (@Fab_Alpha) May 10, 2016
Confident men are also more likely to be looked to as leaders by other men and women in their social groups.
Here are some tips for maintaining confident-looking alpha male body language.
- Maintain eye contact when you speak with people, including attractive women
- Lean forward during conversation, as opposed to leaning back to create distance (just don’t slouch!)
- Stand up straight. Don’t slouch while standing. Also, keep your spine straight when you sit down as well. Avoid slumping over, and pull your shoulders back, exposing your chest.
- Uncross your arms and legs, and keep them uncrossed.
- Keep your chin up. Stop allowing your gaze to travel downward. Keep your eyes forward, and your gaze aloft.
- Don’t fidget. Keep your hands steady and sure. Also, avoid touching your face, neck, or hair if you get nervous.
- Keep your hands out of your pockets. This helps you to look more assured of yourself.
- Keep your movements slow and even. Fast movements will make you appear more anxious.
- Keep a firm handshake under all circumstances. A weak handshake is a sign of a lack of confidence, and people will pick up on it.
Some of these steps may seem strange at first. But if you practice them day after day, they will start to feel more natural. Eventually, you will find yourself sticking to them out of habit.
That is exactly what you want!
Alpha Male Personality Traits
There are a number of personality traits that are generally attributed to the alpha-male and social dominance. Here on Male Ambition, we talk about this quite a bit. Alpha males are usually seen as…
- Natural leaders
- Physically strong
- Self sufficient
These are often labeled as ‘instrumental traits.’ But, there are also other alpha-male traits that appeal more to the group-dynamic and cooperation. Alpha males are leaders… and the better they are at leadership, the more people in their social settings will look up to them.
These are called ‘expressive traits,’ and include traits like…
Keep in mind that, while a lot of these personality traits are seen as ‘alpha male traits,’ it should also be noted that men will likely hold different positions in different social circles. This is what makes humans different from other animals.
Our relationships are more complex in the human world, because we do not just belong to one ‘pack’ or ‘group.’ For example… you may be a hot-shot manager at the workplace, and maintain an alpha-status among your coworkers based on that.
But if you’ve never been to the gym before, and decide to start lifting weights for the first time, you will likely not attain social dominance in that social circle for some time. At first, you will not know what you are doing. It is a new place full of unknowns… and for a while, you will probably fall into the circle as a follower.
The quiet, keep-to-himself guy who works in the maintenance department at your job, on the other hand, may be a beta at the workplace… but if he goes to the gym every day and has the biggest muscles, he might actually be an alpha in that social setting.
Another example of this is the quiet, nerdy guy who is a loner/beta at the office. But this same guy may rock the local venue as a hip-hop artist by night. Also, that clumsy guy in PE class who can’t play basket-ball very well may dominate at video games when he logs-in and plays online.
Since we belong to many different social circles, it only stands to reason that we will hold varying degrees of social dominance in the different social circles we spend time in.
But… with all of that being said, there is also something to be said for leveling up your alpha-male mentality across all of these different social groups.
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As you learn more about what it means to be a true alpha male, you will begin to increase your place in the hierarchies of all of your different social circles.
This is why it is important to train yourself to become an alpha male. You may come by some of the traits naturally, but that won’t set you up to be a true alpha in every possible setting you could find yourself in.
Alpha Male Mindset
There are a number of attitudes, thought processes, and characteristics that true alpha-male men utilize in their day to day lives. But when you simplify all of these thought processes to their simplest terms, you come up with a mindset that anyone can learn and apply with a bit of practice, patience, and determination.
True alpha males are dominant… but they do not walk over other people. The alpha male is sure of himself, and is not threatened by other people who disagree with him or try to belittle him.
The true alpha-male mindset, at its most basic form, is being comfortable, at peace, and confident in who you are. For this reason, alpha males do not need anyone else’s approval. They also do not feel the need to put others down, because they have no reason to compete with anyone else.
Alpha males are always confident and comfortable in their own skin. They have a good sense of humor and do not take themselves too seriously.
But they also have their lives together, and they take responsibility for themselves, their own happiness, and their own success.
In tough situations, an alpha male will ride out the tension without breaking or reacting emotionally. He will stay focused and level-headed, even if someone else is trying to put him down.
The true alpha-male mentality says I am my own man. I am confident in what and who I am, and there is no reason to feel the need to one-up other men. I already believe that I am awesome, and I am.
Alpha Male Behavior
Here at Male Ambition, we do a lot of thinking, studying, and writing on the topic of behavior. But with that being said… how important is it for an alpha-male to behave a certain way?
The biggest behavioral indicator of a true alpha male lies within the absence of the need to show others that he is indeed an alpha. In other words, a true alpha male does not seek to prove to others that he is an alpha. Instead, he focuses on being a fulfilled, confident, successful, and socially skilled man of the world.
Fake or immature alphas can be seen from a mile away, especially by women and other alphas. They will try so hard to make other people believe that they are alphas that their act will come off as fake. They will constantly be trying to one-up other men, will tend to brag and boast, and will work really hard to be seen in a certain light.
But this is not the true way of the genuine alpha male. A real alpha male’s behavior will be gentle, calm, peaceful, confident, and consistent. He will not shrink back from a challenge… but he also feels no need to prove anything to anyone. He is focused on living his own life, and on being whom he wants to be.
This quiet, confident approach is the hallmark behavior of a true alpha male.
Alpha Male Clothing
A true alpha male will care about his clothing, but not necessarily out of a sense of vanity, or to impress anyone. Rather, he puts effort into his wardrobe and outward appearance because he holds himself to a certain standard.
He is a man of the world. He has his life, and his business, in order. He crosses his ‘T’s’ and dots his ‘I’s.’
Therefore, a true alpha will never neglect his wardrobe out of laziness or sloppiness. He puts true, real effort into looking as good as possible in every given situation. He researches what it takes to dress appropriately, and puts time and effort into his wardrobe every week.
He will make sure that his clothing is appropriate to the situation. He will make sure that it is ironed, lint-rolled, and clean. He will choose appropriate attire for the occasion… but he will also put his own unique spin on it. He will probably stand out, not only because he has put so much effort into his wardrobe… but because he will wear his clothing with so much confidence that people will automatically assume that he has it all together.
Daniel Looking great in his new clothing. – Alpha Male transformation! pic.twitter.com/GWLhEC0PFV
— Alpha Male Styling (@Anja_309) April 20, 2013
For this reason, it is essential to put time and energy into your wardrobe if you wish to be a successful alpha male. You need to make sure that you have casual, business casual, business, and dinner-wear attire ready and waiting in your closet for the right situations.
Above all else, avoid being lazy with your clothing. You don’t have to spend a fortune on nice clothes to look nice. Shop at stores that fit your price range, and get shirts, pants, and coats tailored to fit your body type well.
A little effort goes a long way!
Alpha Male VS Beta Male VS Omega Male
Here at Male Ambition, we get a lot of questions about Alpha males, Beta males, and Omega males.
What exactly are the differences?
Here is what you need to know.
Alpha males are the dominant male in a particular group.
Beta males are a subordinate male in a particular group.
Omega males are men who have chosen NOT to have a powerful or important role in a social or professional situation.
Alpha males are the dominant males in their social groups. They are the trend-setters. They are confident and laid back, but ready to take action when the need arises. They work hard, are sought after by women, get a lot of attention, and are usually the guy that other guys want to hang out with.
Beta males, on the other hand, have mild levels of social confidence and self-assurance. They are usually more incapacitated by fear, nervousness, and insecurity than alphas. They may be too afraid to take the lead, which is why they will tend to follow alpha males in most social situations.
Beta males will usually struggle a bit with hooking up and maintaining relationships, as women will tend to lose interest in them in the long-term. Beta males tend to be much more agreeable than alpha males, mostly because they tend to be more like natural-born followers than leaders.
Then, we have Omega males. Omega males are pretty much the opposite of the alpha male in every single category. They usually have very low levels of self-esteem and confidence. They may be basically controlled by their own fear, anxiety, and nervousness in any given situation.
Omega males can be spotted in social groups as the ‘nice, but weird/creepy guy,’ especially with women. They will probably come off as awkward, and may even make other people uncomfortable.
These are the types of men who will try to be ‘nice’ to win sex with a girl… then get angry when it turns out that she only likes him as a friend. The problem is that omega males embody almost none of the masculine traits that women naturally desire in a man. Women tend to have almost no attraction or respect for them, other than the respect earned in friendship.
Most people describe Omega males as ‘ass-kissing, creepy, potentially angry guys who don’t have a life of their own, who are only nice to women because they think it will earn them a hookup.’
This may sound harsh… but it is what it is. They are generally the males at the lowest end of the social totem-pole. They are the males who are almost never noticed, who are very quiet and withdrawn, and who show the lowest number of masculine traits in a social group.
Can You Become Alpha Male?
This is, perhaps, the number-one question we get on Male Ambition.
And the answer is definitely a yes.
But it takes practice. Some alpha males may come by these traits naturally. But others need to learn how to embody them through practice, self-awareness, and determination. Most men do not start out as powerful alpha males. They generally embody just a few of the traits naturally, and then gradually increase their level of understanding to master the rest of them.
Some men never move beyond their own natural-born levels of alpha-male status. These men may thrive in limited social circles, but experience frustration when they run into more competitive environments and are confronted with alpha males who have actually spent time ‘honing’ their abilities.
There is truly no substitute for learning and bettering yourself. And if you want to be more successful at work, with women, with friends, and in all of your endeavors, the best thing you can do is to start training yourself to be the ultimate alpha male.
It is a lifelong pursuit, as the alpha male mentality is something that you never fully master. It is not so different from martial arts, actually. You can train your entire life, and still learn something new about it every day!
But the best way to get started is to simply do. Start learning and applying every new lesson to your life.
With practice and self-awareness, you can absolutely succeed at becoming the powerful, influential, successful alpha male you’ve always dreamed of becoming.
We have seen men go from pudgy, shy, awkward, angry omega males to powerful, attractive, suave, well-loved alpha males in just a few short years. But you must take the journey seriously… and you must be ready to admit that you need to change who you are as a person if you want to succeed.
In the next section, we are going to give you a step-by-step guide to help guide you on your journey. If you can follow all 25 of these steps, you can make huge headway in changing your behavior to become a better version of yourself and embrace the alpha male status.
But it will take work and practice.
25 Steps to Help You Become an Alpha Male
Some of these steps may feel very natural to you… while others will take work. But rest assured, every single one of them is important. Focus on one or two steps at a time, and put real, calculated effort into adopting them into your life.
It takes time. But you should start to notice a difference in your own thought patterns and perceptions within just a few short weeks. Just remember to keep working and practicing. All of this will pay off in the long run!
Step 1. Practice Self Awareness
Be real with yourself about who you are and who you want to be. Self-honesty is a very important part of this journey.
What are your shortcomings? What are your strengths?
Don’t sugarcoat the answers. Figure out where you can start improving yourself, and start doing the work.
Self-inflection is extremely important to every alpha male. At the beginning of every powerful alpha-male story is the story of a man who was lost, confused, and self-defeated.
You must learn to see what you really are if you want to become better. Be honest about your problems.
You know what they say. The first step to getting better is admitting that you have a problem!
Are you lazy? Unmotivated? Angry? Aggressive? Controlling? Abusive? Self-deprecating?
If so, you are going to have to undo those behaviors and replace them with their healthy substitutes.
Step 2. Stop Complaining
True alpha males never complain. They see what needs to be done, and they do it. If something is wrong, they change it. They don’t complain and whine about it.
So today, stop complaining. If you catch yourself doing it, remind yourself that powerful alphas do not complain about the world’s problems. They take action to fix them!
If you encounter big problems, look at them as challenges. Look at every trial as the opportunity to learn and better yourself. Sure, going through hard times is no fun. But you will find that you will be miles ahead of the curve if you will just stop complaining, put your mind to the grind, and work to get through it.
Step 3. Stop Making Excuses
As an alpha male, you need to be firm in your decisions and actions. No more making excuses. If you need to start running every morning, do it. No excuses. If you don’t want to go to that dinner party, decline the invite… saying you don’t want to go. No excuses.
You do not have to excuse your behavior. You choose your destiny. Now is the time to stop allowing the opinions of others to control your life.
So call things what they are. If you didn’t get it done because you were lazy, admit that you were lazy. At least then you will be lazy and honest, instead of lazy and in denial!
But still, at the end of the day, get done what needs to be done. Do not let excuses run your life. Live a life of action… not excuses.
Step 4. Find Your Purpose and Pursue It
Alpha males do not march to someone else’s drum. They decide what they want out of life, and they pursue it. Stop being wishy-washy. Stop ‘not being sure’ about what you want. If you need to get away and do some meditating about what you want for your life, then do that.
Find out what your purpose in life is, and pursue it. A true alpha male has a purpose, and he pursues it with relentless tenacity. Wishy washy men, on the other hand, never achieve alpha-male status.
When you see a good opportunity, consider it. Decide, then and there, if you want it. Either commit to it, or let it go. Do not play half-way games. Be in or out.
A true alpha male will put his purpose above almost everything else. It is very, very important that you define what your purpose in life is. If you neglect this step, you will always struggle to find meaning and direction.
Step 5. Face Your Fears
In your journey, you may have to do things that frighten you. Asking for a raise, quitting your job, approaching a beautiful woman, standing your ground when someone is trying to push you around, setting healthy boundaries in your relationship… all of these types of things can be frightening. But it is very important that you man-up and handle your business.
An alpha male learns to face his fears calmly and strategically. But this takes practice. Start now by not shying away from situations that scare you. Instead, seek them out and face them.
One of the reasons for why there are so few alpha males in the world is because most men are cowards. But there is no place in the heart of the alpha male for fear. Banish fear from your heart, or it will be the weakness that defeats you.
Step 6. Start Believing in Yourself
A true alpha male does not need anyone’s approval. Why? Because he already holds himself to a high standard… and consistently meets that standard by doing everything he can to be excellent.
So today, start looking in the mirror and giving yourself a pep talk. Tell yourself that you are the man, and stop letting your fear of rejection hold you back.
If you can start believing in yourself, you will start to give off that unmistakable alpha-male energy. Women love it. Bosses love it. People will part like a sea when you walk through a room. You must become a man who is completely and 100% comfortable and at-peace with himself.
You no longer need anyone to approve of you. You believe in yourself, and that is all that matters.
Step 7. Become Self-Reliant
A hallmark of the successful alpha male is individual strength and independence. This type of man doesn’t rely on other people to make his way. He earns his own money, pays his own way, and doesn’t accept charity to keep himself afloat.
If your parents are paying for your apartment… you have to get out from under their charity if you want to become a true alpha male. If you can’t afford it, start working more and do whatever it takes to pay your own way. Maybe you need to get a better job so that you can make enough money to afford to be independent.
But a true alpha male will always be able to depend entirely upon himself for his survival.
This is also true in an emotional sense as well. You need to stop depending on other people for your emotional well-being. Do you need your girlfriend to go on and on about how awesome you are to ‘reassure’ you of the fact that she loves you?
That isn’t self-reliance. It is dependence, and it is not the way to live if you truly want to be an alpha male.
Step 8. Start Getting into Shape
One thing that a lot of men neglect nowadays is their physical body. You don’t have to look like Thor to attract beautiful women… but you do have to put constant effort into your body, health, and state of mind.
Start hitting the gym. Start getting rid of your belly fat. Get rid of the extra ‘flab’ on your body, and start building more lean muscle. If you’re too lazy to put this time in at the gym, you probably don’t have what it takes to be a true alpha male.
Also, clean up your diet. Stop drinking soda. Stop eating junk food. Eat healthy food that will nourish your body and help you to perform at peak efficiency.
You don’t have to be a world-class body builder to look and feel good. Putting in 20 minutes, 30 minutes, or an hour a day will help you to see huge improvements!
Step 9. Be a Man of Your Word
A true man of the world will always keep his word. If you make commitments, stick with them. If you say that you are going to do it, stick with it. Let your word be your bond, and stop agreeing to things that you don’t actually want to do.
Nowadays, many men are flaky and wishy-washy. But these traits are super unattractive, and they will only earn you disrespect.
A true man of his word can always be counted on… and he will earn the respect of both his peers and rivals for this.
So be a man of integrity. Do what you say that you are going to do. Never make empty, idle threats. Always be willing to back up your words with action, and be careful what you say… lest your words betray the fact that you are actually just a talker, not a walker.
Step 10. Don’t Be Afraid of Failure
A powerful alpha-male will take calculated risks without caving in to the fear of failure that could come about as a result of those risks. He knows that failures happen, but he also knows that the biggest failures carry with them the greatest lessons.
Plus, he is wise enough and confident enough in his decisions to not be daunted by the threat of setbacks. An alpha male can, and will, fail at times. But far more often, he will succeed.
Why does he succeed? Because he tries. Far too many men are far too afraid to even try, which sets the alpha apart from the rest of the pack. This is often why the alpha will have more money, more resources, and more success than beta or omega males.
Step 11. Seek Challenges in Combat
Part of the alpha male power mindset comes from our evolutionary heritage as humans. Back when we were cavemen, we had to fight for our survival every single day. Humans had to be ready to combat whatever predator was trying to kill and eat them, or they would not survive.
As a result… alphas rose to the top of the food chain. They had more women, more resources, and more warriors. People recognized that these men were the most powerful leaders, and that following them would most likely lead to their best chances of survival.
Today, things are different. It is quite possible to live a successful life without ever being forced to fend off predators with physical combat. But to fully embrace the alpha male mentality, it is important that you get back to these roots.
For this reason, it is often recommended that men who wish to develop themselves as alphas take up some kind of physical combat sport. Martials arts, boxing, MMA, fencing, or wrestling are all outstanding options.
These allow for the test of skill that comes from combat, but they also allow for the modern alpha male to pursue the experience of combat in a manner that will not land him in prison!
It is important to tap into this primal urge. Men are natural-born warriors. But how can you call yourself a true alpha male warrior if you’ve never faced a foe in physical combat? You must learn how to train, know what it feels like to get knocked down, and learn how difficult it can be to get back up again.
The discipline you learn from this will serve as a powerful metaphor for the rest of your life.
Step 12. Be Aware of Your Wardrobe
If you only buy baggy graphic T-shirts off the clearance rack at discount stores, you seriously need to up your game.
They say that ‘clothes make the man,’ and to a certain extent, it’s true.
Start researching fashion, and put time and effort every week into your wardrobe. Make this a significant part of your weekly routine. Make sure that you are setting time aside to shop and go to a tailor. Make sure that you’re planning your outfits in advance.
Make sure that you have the right types of outfits for every occasion.
A powerful alpha-male will always arrive well-dressed and ready for whatever life may throw at him. He will stand out just enough to turn heads, but will also be dressed fashionably enough to impress.
You don’t even have to spend a ton of money to come up with some awesome outfits. The important thing is to put time, effort, and energy into your wardrobe.
If you’re starting at the bottom, shop at thrift stores! There is no shame in buying clothing at a discount. What matters is that you put effort into it, and that you do your best to look your best in all situations.
Step 13. Read More Books
It is extremely important for every alpha male to continue his education. Buy books or borrow them from the library, and set time aside every day to read. Even if you only spend 10 to 20 minutes every day reading, that is time that will thoroughly enrich your life and teach you things that you didn’t even realize you didn’t know.
Reading blogs and articles can also be helpful, but there is really no substitute for reading quality books.
Plus, reading a real, paper-bound book before bed will help to quiet your mind. Reading on an electronic device, on the other hand, may actually keep you awake and disrupt your routine.
If in doubt about where to start, try reading books written by some of your favorite people. Even fiction books can help you to learn and become a better person… but self-help books are generally the number-one choice.
Step 14. Learn How to Be Successful With Women
A lot of men get really wrapped up in gorgeous women. And for good reason! They are beautiful, they are sexy, they’re exciting… and spending time with an attractive woman can be intoxicating!
But at the same time, a powerful alpha male must learn how to control himself. He may be attracted to beautiful women, but he must also know that women do not come first in his life. His first priorities will always be himself and his purpose.
This is part of what makes an alpha male so attractive. He will treat a woman like a princess… but he will not sacrifice his own well-being or his sense of duty to his mission for her, either.
This is partly why alpha males can seem so ‘hard to get,’ when they aren’t even trying to play games. Pick up artists may play hard to get. Alpha males just do what they want.
That is the big difference. It isn’t a game. They are literally just living their lives and pursuing their goals.
In fact, some alpha males do not even date long-term specifically because they want to save their energy for their projects and goals. Of course, this is completely up to each individual person, but the fact remains… you must learn how to keep your head in the game by not allowing women to wrap you around their finger.
An alpha male always stays in control of his own emotions and feelings. For this reason, they learn how to attract women and treat them well. But they also learn how to get back to business once the fun is done with.
Step 15. Constantly Push Yourself to Broader Limits and Horizons
It is very important for an alpha male to continue to push himself. He needs to be constantly broadening his horizons. Stagnation will kill the alpha-male mentality. For this reason, it is essential to keep pushing yourself to do new things, reach new limits, and accomplish new goals.
Remain self-aware enough to realize when you’ve started to stagnate, and break out of the mold by setting a new goal and driving yourself toward success.
If you start to reach the pinnacle of your current social group, find social groups full of people who are better than you. People who make more money than you, stay busier than you, and have bigger goals than you are excellent people to spend time with… because they will inspire and challenge you to do even more.
Step 16. Be Mindful of Your Money
A wise alpha male will know how to keep track of his money. If you want to solidify your position in life as a true leader among men, then you must do the same.
So budget your money, get control of your finances, and take full responsibility for every dollar that flows into and out-of your wallet.
True alpha males always have enough money to do what needs to be done. They don’t blow their money on needless toys or trinkets. They work hard, they save, they invest, they diversify, and they find ways to hustle to earn even more.
I once heard an entrepreneur say “I don’t care about your fancy car. Show me your duplex or your investment property. That’s what will impress me!”
At the core of all of this is a standard of proactivity. You must be proactive in taking charge of your finances, but you must also balance this with self-control. Too many men buy flashy watches or fancy cars, and then end up filing bankruptcy or going broke. A lot of men also blow their money buying drinks for girls, hoping to score a quick hook-up.
But the true alpha male never spends (or volunteers) a single dollar unless he has it to spend, free and clear.
A powerful alpha male will also avoid going into debilitating levels of debt. If he does go into debt, it will be controlled… and for a good, logical reason.
Step 17. Learn How to Treat a Woman
Whether you’re dating to settle down, dating to play the field, married, or dating someone steady, alpha males know how to treat a lady. They are always gentle, respectful, and kind. But they’re also clear about what they want and what their interests are.
They don’t play games or lie to women. They never promise something that they won’t be able to deliver on. They’re also clear about their sexual interest in the woman they’re dating. Unlike betas and omegas, they won’t just ‘be the nice guy.’ They’ll make it plain and clear that they want her.
True alpha males also do a number of other things when dealing with a woman.
- They always pick up the check. Splitting the check is for betas and omegas! (One exception is if the woman absolutely demands to get it herself. It is better to let her pick up some or all of it than to fight about it!)
- They open her door for her.
- They give her their jacket if she’s cold.
- They plan dates and take action. They choose where to eat and what to do for entertainment, and lead the way with conversation. They make it easy for the lady have a good time, and do not thrust any decision-making upon her.
- They think about her feelings and emotions. They are strong enough to handle whatever she might throw at them. They don’t get sucked into needless arguments. If this lady is worth spending time with, she is worth the patience it takes to handle her emotions.
In every sense of the word, a true alpha male is a gentleman on the streets… but an animal in the sheets! He will respect her and guard her honor. But he will also be ready to flip the switch to naughty as soon as the time comes to play.
With that being said, a true alpha male will also know how to pleasure a lady in bed. So make sure you know what you’re doing!
Practice makes perfect. But even if you don’t get the chance to practice a lot, study up! Learn what the ladies are looking for, and pay attention to how she responds when things get heated.
Paying attention to her responses and just trying to see how comfortable she is in the moment will make a big difference, and help you to figure out what you’re doing right!
Step 18. Constantly Seek Adventure
A true alpha male never lets life tie him down. He will always be exploring and adventuring. Life does not happen at a desk, and the alpha male knows that. For this reason, he will always be meeting new people, trying out new experiences, and creating excitement in his life and in the lives of those around him.
This isn’t the kind of guy who is going to sit around and play video games.
This is not the kind of guy who is going to be content to sit at home and watch porn.
While it is true that video games and porn can be fun, these things are not happening in real-life. They are on a screen.
Go out and have adventures. Challenge yourself to have sex with real women. Play real sports instead of online sports.
Strictly Sex: 1 Moves To Heatup The Play And Make Her Go Wild.. https://t.co/5jNCrRngob
— AlphaMale (@Fab_Alpha) March 30, 2016
Instead of playing shooting games, go paintballing or take a trip to the shooting range. Instead of playing fantasy games, learn how to swordfight and fence in real life.
If you are married, take your wife out on the town and have adventures with her.
Rock climb. Go to the club. Go to the ocean. Run on the beach. Sail. Do things that take you out of your house and into the real world. Meet cool people, and create adventure.
Domestication will destroy the potential of any alpha male who allows himself to succumb to it.
Step 19. Watch Your Body Language
It is important that you learn how to carry yourself. An alpha male doesn’t slouch. He doesn’t avoid eye contact. He carries himself upright, with pride. He looks people in the eye. He doesn’t stick his hands into his pockets. He doesn’t fidget or continuously touch his beard, hair, or tie. He puts in the effort ahead-of-time to look good… and he knows that he looks good when he finally gets around people.
Body language is incredibly important, because it sends signals to the people around you about what you believe about yourself. It subconsciously lets other guys know that you are not threatened by them, and let’s women know that you’re real… not just a pretender.
Here are some tips for how to achieve alpha-male-level body language in your interactions.
- Walk confidently… not fast and nervously.
- Sit in your seat as if you’re on a throne. Don’t hunch over and act nervous. Lean back. Be comfortable. Be relaxed.
- Stand with your chest open and your shoulders back
- Give a proper handshake upon greeting someone. Look them in the eye. Extend your hand and let them come to you.
- Learn how to communicate without speaking. Be expressive, and let the person speaking with you know that you are listening to them. Don’t just be a dull, blank canvas. Show when you feel chemistry. Show when something seems funny. Show when something rings true with you. You can do all of these things without saying a word.
- Always maintain eye contact. Learn to feel comfortable looking someone else in the eye. Look away only if you have something else to look at. Avoid looking away out of nervousness.
Step 20. Avoid Living in Negativity
The number-one thing that separates an alpha male from a beta male is the mindset of positivity.
An alpha male will be consistently positive. The only exception to this is that he will also not be afraid to make a stand and be confrontational when the need arises. He is not afraid of calling things as they are.
But as a general rule, alpha males do not bash other people, trash talk them behind their back, or exude negativity. These are beta and omega male traits.
So practice positivity in your life. Avoid talking down to others. Stand up for yourself in a healthy way, and do not shy away from confrontation. But also, communicate that you are optimistic and mentally healthy. These are true alpha-male traits.
Step 21. Live Responsibly
An alpha male will absolutely take calculated risks in his life… but he doesn’t make stupid choices.
Before you blow money on something needless, make sure that…
- Your bills are paid
- Your wife and children are provided for
- You have set money aside in savings
- You have looked ahead to the near future to plan for unexpected expenses
An alpha male always has money saved up so that he is not caught unprepared. We cannot prepare for everything… but we can be responsible with what we have.
A true alpha male also knows when to take risks and when not to.
Walking up to that attractive woman and striking up a conversation? Maybe that is a good risk.
Investing in a solid business? A good risk.
Driving drunk? Absolutely not.
Having reckless, unprotected sex? Definitely not.
So practice responsibility, and use common sense. Alpha males are not all bravado, no brains. They balance courage with wisdom. And if you want to be a true alpha, you must be ready to do the same.
Step 22. Build Other People Up
A true alpha male is confident enough that he does not need anyone else’s approval. But he does recognize when other people are not altogether confident, and he helps them to feel better about themselves.
He will complement their clothes. He will provide encouragement when needed. He will give them positive feedback. He will brag about the good things people are doing, instead of focusing on the negatives.
A true alpha spreads positivity and makes his world better.
True, he may prioritize himself and his own purpose ahead of everything else. But he also understands that treating people well and building them up are good moves that will help everyone in the long run.
If you catch someone talking smack or gossiping about one of their bros behind his back, that’s not an alpha. That’s a beta or omega trying really hard to get attention!
Step 23. Be Aware of Your Own Mortality
One of the most powerful things an alpha-male can do is to stay aware of the fact that every day, he is one step closer to his death. Life is not forever… and at the core of his being, the alpha male knows that every day is priceless.
It is good to be at peace with this knowledge. It is also good to be reminded of it every day.
This means that a true alpha will not waste time on petty things that don’t matter.
So make every day meaningful, and use your time the way you want. We often treat time like it is something we have an unlimited amount of.
We waste time just to entertain ourselves. Some of us act as if consuming entertainment and content is all that matters, and it shows.
But an alpha knows that it is not what we consume that matters… it is what we create. We want to leave our mark upon the world and create a legacy. The only way to do this is to get away from the TV screen and do things.
Take action, and remember that every day could be our last.
Step 24. Get Your Priorities Sorted Out
What do you care about? What matters to you?
What comes first in your life? What has the highest value?
It is very important to have your priorities in order.
If you don’t, you will be wishy washy… never knowing exactly what you should do or what action you should take.
Men who do not know what their priorities are live chaotic and confusing lives. They are driven by their emotions and impulses. They often ruin their own lives, and also hurt the people around them with their wishy-washy behavior.
This is how betas and omegas act.
But as an alpha, you must figure out your priorities and learn to make decisions about them. You must know, at any given moment, what is more important to you. Is it your job? Your family? Your bills? Your health? Your goals? Your happiness? Your friends?
Think about this and do a lot of meditating on it. It will help you to become a lot more confident in your ability to make rational decisions on short notice.
Step 25. Be Good Without Expecting Anything in Return
This is perhaps the biggest difference between an alpha and a beta. An alpha works hard to be a good person because he wants to be a good person. Betas and omegas, on the other hand, try to be good people so that other people will be good to them.
There is a huge difference here.
An alpha male has his own life together. He doesn’t need anyone else’s help. Therefore, he does not have to try to ‘bargain’ with good deeds. If he does something good, it is because he wants to do it… not because he expects a reward for it.
So embody this principle. Do good things only if you truly want to. If doing the good thing is not reward enough in itself, then don’t do it.
Alpha males do what they want. And when this includes good or charitable things, it is simply because they wanted to be good and charitable.
Doing something good, and then expecting something in return, is a sign of weakness. If you are going to expect something in return, then don’t even do the good thing in the first place (unless you are making a business deal).
Charity (good deeds) and business deals are two completely different things. One comes from the goodness of your heart, and one comes from the value of a transaction.
A perfect example of this is the beta/omega male who buys a girl dinner, but then gets mad when she doesn’t put out. This is classic beta/omega behavior. An alpha would never have asked her to dinner in the first place if he didn’t want to buy her dinner. He might simply relish the idea of spending an hour with her, talking over a fine meal… just for the sake of doing it and seeing where it may lead.
But he knows better than to expect anything in return. That is not why he did it!
My 3 Favorite Alpha Male Books with Alpha Male Training
As you learned in our 25 steps to becoming an alpha male, reading is an important part of your journey to healthy manhood.
So we are also going to talk about some of the best books to read for men.
If you want to learn more about becoming a healthy, powerful alpha male, then here are 3 awesome titles that we recommend starting with.
1. To Be a Man: A Guide to True Masculine Power, by Robert Augustus Masters PhD
In this book, Masters talks about facing your unresolved wounds, shame, and everything else that is holding you back. This is an awesome book for men because it deals with a lot of emotional things that men don’t even know to think about.
It helps them to ask tough questions about what they really want and feel, which helps them to work on their unresolved issues to find true masculine power.
It especially delves into the eroticizing of our emotional wounds, and how we act out our traumas through sex and addiction. This is an outstanding must-read for any man on the journey toward alpha-male masculinity.
2. The Way of Men, by Jack Donovan
This book literally answers the question ‘What is Masculinity?’
It gets right down to the primal concept of ‘manliness.’ Manliness is basically all about demonstrating to other men that you have what it takes to survive, even in tough times… and it is wired into our primal nature.
Donovan does a great job in this work of pointing out what men actually want… and why, in our modern world, many men become disengaged and restless.
There are some who are critical of this book, citing it as ‘a book written by a bro for other bros.’ But then again, on the other side of the coin, even its harshest critics admit that there is a lot of insight to be gained from it.
It may be a bit controversial… but it is a must-read for men who are trying to understand themselves.
3. The Art of War, by Sun Tzu
This book is a timeless classic. It was written long ago by a military strategist, and is basically a treatise on the subjects of warfare and strategy. But it is also a manual for common sense, seeing the whole picture, and thinking through the entire conflict before reacting.
Our favorite versions of this book are the versions written to bring it as close to the original translation as possible. Therefore, it will sound like a book about war and strategy, though it absolutely makes sense if you are going to apply the concepts to everyday life as well.
If you think of life as a war, and its struggles as battles… then this book will be absolutely relevant to you.
Some consider it a bit of a dry read. But if you can find a version that appeals to you, you can gain invaluable insight from it.
This is a must-have for any man who wants to live life with a warrior/warlord mentality, even if the only enemies he is facing are his own inner demons.
The path of the Alpha Male is not always easy. It requires you to be in control of your emotions, and to take responsibility for your own life.
If you need the support of other people just to survive, either financially or emotionally, then you may not be cut out to walk this road.
But… if you can rise above your current circumstances, take ownership of your life, and begin forging your own destiny through the sheer force of your masculine will, then you may actually have what it takes to begin the amazing transformation that occurs when men start taking responsibility of their own life and creating their own future through positive, proactive action.
We are all on his planet for just a short time. But we can also accomplish so much while we are here. If you are a man, and want to live life to the fullest, then we wholeheartedly suggest that you at least read through these 25 steps, to see if the life of the alpha male may be for you.
There is true, masculine power to be found in these principles. But at the end of the day, it all requires work. You must work on yourself every day to make yourself a better person. You also have to be honest with yourself about the things in your life you need to change.
But… alpha males are also the ones who hold the most power. They literally have the power to shape and create their own destinies, and live on their own terms.
Do you have what it takes?
Leave a comment and let us know!
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Joshua Sigafus is an experienced writer trying to make the world a better place. You can reach out to him on Facebook.
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