College girls are hot. Nobody is going to disagree with that.
They’re young, they’re vibrant, they’re smart, they’re full of life, they are out on their own, and they are eager to prove that they have what it takes to conquer the world!
And in some cases (many cases, actually…), they also just happen to be super interested in hooking-up and having sex.
How to pick up girls in college… this is a question that far too many men don’t have the answers to.
So let’s break it down and talk about it.
In this guide, I’m going to explain the fundamental basics for how to successfully pick up college girls for dating, hook ups, or even LTRs.
What Will I Learn?
- 1 The Problem: Why More Men Aren’t Successful at Picking up Girls in College
- 2 The Differences Between How Men and Women View Sex and Hookups
- 3 Understanding College Girls
- 4 So, What Does This Mean For Men Who Want to Pick up College Girls?
- 5 How to Pick up Girls in College – the Ultimate 10-Step Guide
- 6 Step 2… Hit the Gym
- 7 In Conclusion
So let’s dive right in.
The Problem: Why More Men Aren’t Successful at Picking up Girls in College
College campuses are full of beautiful, attractive women… and to be super-honest, most of these women have a healthy sex drive.
Don’t be fooled. Women in this age category (18 to 22) are just as interested in hook ups as men are, if not even more so!
So why aren’t more men having crazy good luck with it?
Well, the big problem is that most men do not understand that women and men think about sex and hookups in a slightly different way.
Yes, men and women are far more alike than they are different.
And there are exceptions to every rule.
But to a pretty reliable degree, men and women approach sex from slightly different perspectives.
So let’s dive in and get to the bottom of it.
The Differences Between How Men and Women View Sex and Hookups
Men see the beauty of a woman’s body when he looks at a girl he’s interested in. Sure, he might like her personality and her quirks as well. But at some level, she is at least to a certain degree, a sex object to him.
She is almost an accessory… a glittery, sparkling bauble that he can look at, enjoy, and show off. And when he gets to have sex with her, he considers it a great victory for him as a man.
He’s the alpha. He’s the male she wanted in her bedroom. He’s the one she wanted to go home with.
This is obviously not the entire picture. There is a lot more to sex and attraction than this. But this mentality of how men view women leads us to one of the most important, fundamental principles of sex and attraction that most men fail to realize.
- Men are the competitors. They compete for the right to sleep with the highest-quality women.
- Women, on the other hand, are nature’s gatekeepers. They use an evolutionary selection process to decide which man is the best choice for reproduction.
Men and women are actually very different at this level, because they are motivated by different things.
Men are motivated to spread their seed and genetic code across as many willing and high-value females as possible… because their core programming hopes that they will father as many children as possible.
Women, on the other hand, are motivated to choose the highest-quality potential mate when they have sex, because they want to increase their odds of survival, as well as the odds of survival for their potential offspring.
And so, differently from men, women do not tend to look at men as ‘sex objects.’ At least, not in the same way that men regard women.
Women are much more attracted to the power that a man possesses. In cave-men terms, they are attracted to the attributes that would most likely guarantee her a greater chance for survival if she were to choose this man as her sexual partner.
Women basically want the strongest, most powerful, most influential men as their partners.
Why? Because these men have the greatest capacity to protect her and supply her with the things she needs to survive (food, shelter, protection, a place beside the man in his tribe, etc.).
They watch men as they compete with one-another, and then go to bed with the winners.
Women are attracted to attributes in men that will not only ensure healthy genetics for her offspring (good looks, good teeth, symmetric features, healthy hair, strong muscles, etc.), but also to men who tend to be at the top of as many social dominance hierarchies as possible.
This is why women tend to view true alpha male men with a great deal of sexual energy… not just because these men are pleasing to look at, but because they emanate power, security, wealth, and strength… everything the woman’s instincts are looking for to help ensure her a better chance for survival.
Once again… there is a lot more to sex and attraction than this. The idea of a ‘core sexual programming’ is sound… but its influence is also very subtle.
There are many, many overlapping factors that influence our sexual appetites and proclivities… for both men and women.
But this core programming can also help us a lot in determining how, as men, we can approach women in different situations with the best chances of sexual success.
So, with that being said, let’s talk about how this translates to picking up college girls!
Understanding College Girls
College girls are young, full of energy, extremely attractive, and usually quite interested in sex.
But they are also tricky to figure out if you don’t know what you’re doing.
College girls are, in many ways, at an age where they are at the height of their sexual power.
Once they hit the age of 23, or if they are lucky, 25… their sexual marketplace value will begin to decline.
Right now, they are essentially at their peak… and they can be as picky as they want to be, because the highest-quality females will literally have men lined up around the block willing to do anything it takes to have sex with them.
Right now, as a young adult females, college-age women pretty much dominate their sexual marketplace circles, and can basically have men eating out of their hands if they wish it.
But, they also lack the understanding and maturity that comes from years of experience.
With that being said, don’t dismiss all college girls as immature. It is no secret that women mature faster than men. It is also no secret that, at this age, women will still tend to have an edge on most men in terms of basic emotional maturity.
And therein lies a big challenge for men.
College girls are old enough to already be looking for men, while most ‘men’ in their own age group are still behaving very much like ‘boys.’
This is not to say that men who do ‘fun things’ are still acting like ‘boys.’ That has nothing to do with it.
It’s actually quite simple. Women, even college-age women, are already attracted to attributes like leadership, security, confidence, strength, and power.
The only problem is that most men in their age group have yet to develop these traits.
But that’s not surprising either. Men do not really start hitting their peak until their 30s. This is when they are starting to take their lives more seriously, know what they want out of life, and have hopefully begun the process of chasing excellence and making themselves into powerful, self-sufficient alpha-males.
This is why you will often see older men dating younger women… because, even though they are quite a bit older, they are actually closer to the girl’s level when it comes to not only emotional maturity, but also when it comes to displaying those attributes that women find attractive.
(Hence, why so many younger girls are on dating sites saying things like “I’m actually here to date your dad!”)
But college girls can also be prone to exhibiting a lot of narcissistic traits, mostly due to the influence of social media. If a girl gets on Instagram and posts a lot of sexy selfies, she might actually get to the point where she legitimately believes that most men are just not good enough for her.
That, and/or she can start to become a bit jaded about men when she realizes that most of the attention men give her is sexually focused.
Yes, most of the attention these young women get from men is sexually focused… but the average college-age girl wants it to be more than that. College girls romanticize attraction and love in many cases, and they have this romanticized idea of what it will be like to fall in love, have romantic sex, cuddle under the stars, go on fancy dates, etc.
At the very least, they want some sensuality to go along with the raw, animalistic sex they also crave! They want to feel pretty, desired, and like they are worth more to their partners (even their casual sex partners) than a pretty hole to stick a dick into.
They want to feel like a queen… like they are the greatest prize on earth. But they don’t want to give away this prize lightly. They only want to give it to men who they believe legitimately deserve it.
That, or more commonly… they only want to give it away to the man who captures their interest and stirs their inner hunger for passion.
And that, my friends, is what an Alpha male does… but he does it by going in the complete opposite direction and chasing his own life and happiness first.
So, What Does This Mean For Men Who Want to Pick up College Girls?
This might sound like a lot of information… and it is.
But the good news is that it actually isn’t that difficult to take these things into account, and have relatively good luck picking up college girls.
So now, we are going to take what we have learned, and go over the 10 ultimate steps you need to follow when trying to pick up girls in college.
Keep in mind that, as alpha men, women should not be our focus in life.
Rather, women are a fun thing to add to our lives when we have the time to pursue them. At the college-age, men should be much more focused on developing themselves, staying healthy, hitting the gym, starting businesses, planning for their future, etc.
So picking up girls should be a less-important, but still achievable priority.
Sometimes, a man wants a woman in his bed. And the alpha male man develops the skills required to make this happen if he decides that he wants it!
How to Pick up Girls in College – the Ultimate 10-Step Guide
This is, step by step, what you need to do to succeed with the young, beautiful, vibrant women who surround you on your college campus!
Step 1… Clean Yourself up
Women are far less likely to be into a man who doesn’t dress well or smell good.
So clean up! Practice basic hygiene. Keep your shampoo rack well-stocked, wear deodorant, buy some high-quality aftershave… and wear nice clothes. Also, never forget to…
- Brush and floss your teeth
- Wash behind your ears
- Wash your entire body with soap when you bathe
- Wash your hair
- Trim your fingernails and toenails\
- Trim and shave unsightly body hair
- Wear clothes that are clean, that also smell good
Put some time and effort into looking good every day.
Also, get a haircut and get your beard trimmed (if you have one).
(Need more tips on this? Check out our article on How To Dress To Impress A Girl!)
You don’t have to go crazy with this… but putting some work into your appearance every day will do a lot to give you a leg-up on the competition.
Don’t wear t-shirts and gym shorts everywhere you go!
Dress up! Look good! Be the best-dressed man in the room. It will earn you some points, no doubt… and your confidence will be much higher as a result!
Step 2… Hit the Gym
You don’t have to be a hardcore gym-goer to reap the benefits of a healthy workout.
Staying in shape, and keeping your body in pristine condition, are both things that you should automatically be doing for yourself… not just to pick up women.
But as it turns out, staying in good shape will also affect your ability to win with girls.
You don’t have to be ripped or have washboard abs to make working out worthwhile. Get 20 to 30 minutes of exercise every day. Lift weights, jog, ride a bike, rock-climb… whatever it is that you like to do.
And do it for yourself! Self-love is the greatest asset in the alpha-male’s toolkit. In fact, that is what we are going to talk about next.
Step 3… Love Yourself
As a powerful alpha male, you need to keep things in perspective. Here at Male Ambition, we want every man to live his best life… and at the core of the alpha-male philosophy is this…
You do not need a woman to be happy or to be a complete person! You are your own man, chasing excellence… and women are just an addition to your already awesome life!
(Want to learn more about alpha-male mentality? Check out this article: Be An Alpha Male Everyone Admires).
With this being said, make sure to always prioritize yourself and your passions in life before you invest your valuable time into women.
And if you do invest time into women, make sure that you are also loving yourself at the same time… and not putting up with a bunch of emotional nonsense, guilt tripping, or drama.
Be honest about who you are and what you want in life, and make sure that everything you do, you do for yourself… not for a woman.
This includes spending time with women.
Incidentally, this is not only healthier for you… but it also makes you more attractive to women at the same time. Women go crazy when they meet a man who acts interested, but who also acts like he doesn’t need her to be completely happy with his life.
Pining after a woman and ‘chasing the one’ so that you can finally be happy is the fastest path to becoming a beta male, and the fastest way to ensure that any woman you try to spend time with will get tired of you.
Keep control of your life and happiness within yourself, find your own meaning on your own journey, and live your life for you.
Women are just another cool thing to enjoy and pass the time with.
Step 4… Get Out, Do Things, and Be Sociable
Very few men have ever successfully picked up women by staying inside their dorm rooms, playing video games, and smoking weed.
So the first step to picking up college girls is meeting them, which involves hanging out where they will be hanging out!
Get motivated, get dressed-up, and hit the town!
Go to parties, go to clubs, go to events, make friends, and be sociable.
Here’s a hint that a lot of guys don’t understand about women.
Women love men who are at the top of their social dominance hierarchies.
In other words, they love leaders with high levels of social proof.
They go crazy for men who are in the spotlight… who other men respect and look up to.
Remember… women wait at the finish line and go to bed with the winners! And there is no sexier attribute than to be a man that everyone admires!
But in order to accomplish this, you need to climb the ladders in your social circles.
You need to be as prominent, as respected, and as revered as possible by the people around you.
But this also doesn’t mean that you put up with nonsense or tolerate toxic behavior, either! You keep your circle small, and you live your life your way… and you really don’t care, to a certain extent, what other people think about you.
But these things were never achieved by sitting alone in your dorm room!
Here are some tips to make this important step work for you…
- Get out and have fun
- Don’t make your fun evenings about picking up girls… make them about making friends and just having good times
- Don’t shy away from challenges
- Learn new skills and excel at them
- Be willing to do new things
- Be bold and willing to introduce yourself to new people
- Don’t be over-friendly. Be kind and respectful, but also be yourself
It may be difficult to come out of your shell… but confident men have far more success with women than men with low-self-esteem.
And that leads us to our next step…
Step 5… Be Confident
This is not to say that you should brag or be full of yourself… because that can actually be a turnoff.
You want sociable, intelligent, humble, real confidence… the kind that comes from not only knowing yourself and being comfortable with yourself, but also from knowing that you have nothing to prove to anyone.
You know what you are, and you are fine with it. You know who you are, and you are completely at peace with it.
You chase excellence, and you strive every day to be the best man in the room. And since you put so much effort into this on a daily basis, the practice has become habitual to you.
And that cultivates a level of confidence that most men simply do not have in themselves.
The truth is that a man with confidence is crazy sexy to women!
Here are some tips to help you keep an air of confidence around you at all times.
- Never complain that you don’t look good
- Never complain in-general! A powerful alpha male solves problems… he doesn’t complain about them
- Never fish for compliments
- Never ask the people around you if you look good, if that shirt suits you, etc.
- Never avoid eye contact!
- Greet people with smiles, and pay plenty of attention to them. You are confident and have no reason to prove yourself to them, so you are much more willing to listen to them talk about themselves
- Stand up straight and tall when you walk
- Hold your head up high
- When you sit, sit in a relaxed fashion… not all crumpled up into a small space
Step 6… Be Interesting
It happens all the time.
A guy will approach a woman at a party. They’ll strike up a conversation.
Flirting will happen. Sparks will fly.
But then, after the first couple of minutes, he will run out of things to say. Pauses and silences will make both of them feel awkward… at which point she will excuse herself to return to her friends.
Your chances have vanished. She has lost interest.
You need to avoid this kind of situation at all cost… and you need to do it by keeping her interest piqued.
You need to hold her interest and continue to escalate the conversation… and you need to do it in such a way that she gets to talk about herself in a frame that she actually cares about.
Women love it when men pay meaningful attention to them… but they also love it when men guide the conversation and keep things interesting.
Here are some tips for how to do this correctly.
- Ask her some questions about herself
- When you complete one topic, latch onto another thing she mentioned and start a new path in the conversation by asking her about it
- Share your own thoughts, but only once in a while… mostly, focus on her ideas and what she thinks
- Avoid asking all yes and no questions. Ask open-ended questions that will require her to explain her answers
- Don’t be afraid to gently challenge her. Women like a man who is firm in his opinions
- Make her defend her ideas, and don’t be afraid to make it playful. Poke a little fun at her… but not in a mean or antagonizing way
- Take her seriously, but also act as if you are just a little bit above her. Women like to chase a man’s approval… and if you give it to her all at once, she’ll get super bored super fast
- Don’t compliment her very often! Compliments can be very powerful when sprinkled on at the right moment. But if you compliment her too much, she will quickly gauge that she could easily have you if she wanted you, and that will cause her to get bored of you.
Also, always maintain a bit of mystery about yourself. When she asks you questions, give simple answers. Don’t overshare! Instead, flip the focus back to her, and ask her a question instead.
Keep the ball in her court, and don’t be afraid to escalate.
At first, you might ask little innocent questions. But as your conversation grows more personal, be bold and ask her some deeper things. Getting her to open up to you is a huge step toward making her feel comfortable, and it will likely grow and nurture the connection she feels for you.
You should also use this opportunity to flirt with her.
Step 7… Flirt
Flirting is actually an art-form, and men in the pick-up game practice it religiously.
When you flirt with a girl, you should make her laugh… but also pick her apart playfully at the same time.
“Look at those shoes! I like them… but they are a little bit ridiculous! What made you choose them?”
Giving her little compliments, but also playfully poking fun at her at the same time, is a very effective method for keeping her engaged.
She will be slightly annoyed that you are not just outright complimenting her… and that will drive her wild!
Actual footage of me trying to flirt. pic.twitter.com/ftekufJNmu
— LADbible (@ladbible) October 20, 2019
If you flirt correctly, you should be getting her to crave your attention and approval. To do this, use playful joking, make her laugh, lightly touch her at times that seem appropriate, and find little ways to get closer to her and build up a connection.
But then, withdraw it from time to time as well. Pull away from her sometimes, and get her to follow/chase you!
Whispering in her ear is a great way to get closer to her and build up a more physical connection.
Asking her what her ring has on it, while taking her hand and holding it up so that you can see it… that is a great way to touch her without being inappropriate or making her uncomfortable.
Flirting with other girls in front of her is another way to drive her crazy… and may serve to make her even bolder in her attempts to get your attention.
Your goals, while flirting, are pretty simple.
- Make her laugh
- Have fun together
- Poke a little fun at her and get her a little bit riled up
- Don’t compliment her too often
- Try to establish some comfortable, playful physical contact
- Make plenty of eye contact
- Engage in an interesting conversation with her that will make her feel like the two of you have a growing connection
Flirting really takes practice to figure out… so start practicing on every pretty girl you meet. Flirt as often as you can, and watch for how girls respond to you.
In time, you will learn to read their cues and figure out what works well… and what doesn’t.
Flirting is how you transition into closing, which is where you get girls to give you their number or invite them back to your place for a hookup. Let’s talk about that as well.
Step 8… Closing the Deal
Eventually, after you’ve spent some time flirting and building up the momentum of the interaction, it will be time to ‘make your move.’ This is where you either ask her to come with you, ask her if she wants to go back to her place, or get her number.
Any of these can work, depending on the situation.
Sometimes, a hook-up in the moment isn’t possible (maybe you already have plans and have to leave).
In such cases, getting a phone number is a great alternative.
But sometimes, there is no better time than to try for a hookup in that moment… because striking while the mood is ‘alive’ may give you the best chances of success.
You need to be wise enough to know what the right choice is, and you need to be bold enough to take your shot while the moment is there.
If you linger on and let the conversation get stale, you will really hurt your chances of success. You want to leverage the energy of the peak moment in the conversation to transition into closing!
This is the moment in the conversation when the energy is at its highest point.
Here are some tips for actually closing the deal with a college girl.
- Be up-front about what you have in mind, but also be ‘subtle.’ Girls love a little bit of mystery, and they love the suspense/romance of not quite knowing what is going to happen. But they also tend to love knowing that you are in control and are man-enough to make the moves
- As a general rule, discussing the particulars is usually a turn off. In other words, invite her to come home with you… but don’t necessarily try to get her to agree to ‘having sex’ with you right there. That can often be interpreted as coming on too strong. You are both adults… you both know what going home together means! Wait and make those moves when you get her alone in your room!
- Don’t act shy or bashful. If you do, it can make her nervous. Be confident and enjoy yourself!
- Don’t be afraid of rejection. If she says no, that is totally fine! You can always try again with a different girl. A true alpha male would rather go down with a ‘no’ than go home alone because he was too afraid to ask!
- Learn from your mistakes! Try to figure out what works and what doesn’t.
- Try often! The more often you try to pick up girls, the more practice you will get… and the better you will get at it!
Step 9… Spin Plates
“Spinning Plates” is a term that was coined by “The Rational Male” author Rollo Tomassi. The idea is that you want to have several simultaneous prospects ‘spinning together’ at the same time.
You think of each plate as a separate woman, and imagine yourself ‘spinning them on sticks’ as a plate-spinner would do at a show.
If one falls off, you grab another and start spinning that one… and you keep as many plates spinning at the same time as possible!
The idea here is to avoid pining after just one girl. You want to avoid ‘chasing after just one girl’ because this puts you at a serious disadvantage.
If all of your attention is focused on one girl, you will be much more likely to text her too often, talk to her too often, and try to see her too often.
In such cases, you are much more likely to straight up ruin your chances with her by giving her too much attention.
Women love attention. But once they get it, they will soon grow tired and bored of you!
This is a great balancing act… and maintaining contact with multiple women at the same time will not only increase your odds of finding hookups when you want them, but will also give you the ability to spread your attention between many different girls, thereby creating a higher demand for it.
It’s basic supply-and-demand economics, my friend!
So always be talking to multiple women at the same time. Meet all kinds of girls, flirt with different girls every day, and keep those prospects at your fingertips by engaging just enough to stay in their frame.
This usually means not contacting every woman you’re talking to every single day. It means giving things some space, and giving those girls time to wonder if you are into them or not.
In the best-case-scenario, you will observe a 3 to 1 ratio… where you initiate contact once for every three times that a woman initiates it first with you.
Step 10… Be VERY CAREFUL of Falling For One Girl!
I see so many men make this mistake… and it is truly terrible for their happiness, their self esteem, and their progress on the alpha-male journey.
College girls can be super hot, no doubt… and there will probably be some girls who are so sexy and mesmerizing that they will just really get your attention.
These girls (or this girl) are the types of girls who you might start to actually ‘fall in love’ with.
Well, stop it!
You can try to date these girls if you want. But you should always treat them as if they are just another girl.
In fact, in some cases, it is actually better to avoid messing with girls who you could potentially catch strong feelings for altogether.
This is obviously a matter of opinion… but in my own alpha male journey, I don’t treat these women any different than I treat random hookups.
After I spend a bit of time with them, I move on to the next girl, and I don’t succumb to the temptation to put ‘all of my ammunition in one place.’
Falling for just one girl is a HUGE BETA MALE MISTAKE! If you are in college, you should definitely be playing the field, hooking up, and experiencing as many women as possible.
Settling down is for later in life, after you’ve grown tired of the casual sex game and have had your fill of all the single women you would ever want to sleep with on a casual basis.
There is no reason that a man in his early 20s should ever catch strong feelings for just one girl… unless you are 100% sure that what you want is a long-term-relationship with her, and that you are perfectly happy giving up your single life for her.
Also be super careful with safety. Getting a girl pregnant is not something you want to do. Always wear condoms!
Hopefully, this post has helped you to understand how to pick up girls in college.
There is obviously a lot more to learn than just what is written here. But with this information, you can at least get your foot in the door and start figuring things out for yourself.
Just remember… attraction is a skill.
And like any other skill, it takes practice to get better at it.
The more work you put into it, the better you will get at it… and the more girls you will manage to hook-up with over the course of your college experience.
In closing, I will just say this.
Women are humans. They are not as complicated as they seem. They desire the same things most humans desire… kindness, common human decency and respect, good food, fun times… and bomb sex.
They just want the men they have it with to be awesome.
So go forth and be awesome, gentlemen! You’ve got this!
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Joshua Sigafus is an experienced writer trying to make the world a better place. You can reach out to him on Facebook.
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