The official definition for the word ‘fantasy’ is as follows…
“The faculty or activity of imagining things, especially things that are impossible or improbable.”
For many women, achieving a healthy, happy marriage and the life that comes with it is, in itself, the ultimate fantasy. But unlike other fantasies, this is also a goal that many women actually strive to achieve.
What Will I Learn?
- 1 Lesbian Sex
- 2 Cuckolding
- 3 Being Romanced
- 4 Having Sex in an Unusual Location
- 5 Rough Sex
- 6 Oral Sex
- 7 One of Your Wife’s Fantasies Probably Includes YOU Taking Control
- 8 Knowing That Her Partner is Completely Enraptured by Her
- 9 An Affair
- 10 Being Shared
- 11 Pleasing Her Partner
- 12 Being Dominated
- 13 Wearing ‘Secretly Revealing’ Clothing
- 14 Making Love in a Public Place
- 15 Being in an Orgy
- 16 Sleeping With a Celebrity
- 17 Sex With a Stranger
- 18 Being a Dominatrix
- 19 In Conclusion
And many men, quite mistakenly, think that once the vows are exchanged, the ‘hard work’ is over.
But nothing could be further from the truth! Our mission at Male Ambition is to help men to achieve greatness in all aspects of life—but we are especially interested in seeing men achieve greater success in their relationships.
And marriage is perhaps the most complicated kind of relationship. It involves two people getting together and vowing to stay together long-term. But when it comes to sex, this can become a challenge. Humans naturally crave what they don’t have. They are enticed by what they are not currently experiencing, and daydream about the forbidden fruit on the other side.
Many people might feel like this describes men more so than women—but the truth is actually quite different. Women fantasize just as much as men do, if not even more so.
As a man and a husband, you have a tremendous amount of power over your wife’s happiness with your marriage. You are, after all, the man she married.
Are you going to satisfy her? Are you going to make her happy? Are you going to fulfill her needs, wishes, and desires?
These questions are relevant in every facet of life—including in the bedroom. And if you are a good husband who, for the most part, knows how to please your wife outside of your sexual adventures… then you are certainly going to set yourself up for more success when the time comes to get naughty together.
But knowing her fantasies could give you a definite advantage when the time comes to titillate her most sensitive and sensual senses. Women love a man who knows them intimately. Women are, to put it plainly, the most mysterious of creatures. But they love it when their man knows how to decode their inner workings and give them what they want anyway.
And that, gentlemen, brings us to your wife’s fantasies.
If you could read her mind, what would her fantasies be?
Best book out there to make you a better lover.
Well, here is a look at 18 of the most commonly reported fantasies among women. Odds are good that her deepest, darkest desire can be found in one of these scenarios… and odds are very good that she has fantasized about several of them more than once!
What you choose to do with this information is up to you. But remember… as her husband, you have the potential to light her sexual world on fire with passion and pleasure. And sometimes, her fantasy-life can give you valuable insight into what she is missing (and craving) in the bedroom.
So tread carefully—but be aware that learning about your wife’s fantasies might yield valuable information that you can use to blow her mind and satisfy her beyond her wildest dreams.
Of course, you will have to get her to open up to you about them first, at least a little bit. But hey… isn’t that the fun part?
Alright… let’s talk about some fantasies!
Let’s start with something simple. You may not realize this, but your wife probably watches a lot more lesbian porn than you give her credit for! In one statistic, 42% of women reported fantasizing about watching two women make love. But even beyond this, a lot of women also fantasize about having an actual sexual experience with another woman!
Does this mean that your wife is gay or bi? Not necessarily… though women do tend to be less category-specific when it comes to arousal than men are.
In other words, your wife doesn’t have to actually want sex with a woman to find one sexy and attractive.
But does this mean that she wouldn’t jump at the chance to make love to another lady?
Sometimes. But again, not necessarily always. For some women, fantasies are just fantasies. Women do not necessarily always wish for their fantasies to come true. Sometimes, they just like to think about it.
Cuckold porn is one of the most common male porn searches. But did you know that it is also an extremely common interest among women as well?
This fantasy basically involves the wife having sex with someone else. This other person could be another woman, though it is usually another man. Generally, in the fantasy, the husband knows about the ‘affair,’ and is even sometimes made/invited to watch. It can even have elements of humiliation woven into it (i.e. the wife might tell her husband that his dick is too small, and that she prefers the larger size of her lover’s cock, etc.).
Or, it could be about you watching her and getting off on how sexy she looks with another person!
It can also take the form of the wife having sex with someone else, then coming home to her husband to have sex with him afterwards. She might be turned on at the thought of letting him have ‘sloppy seconds,’ or might even be aroused at the idea of him using his mouth to ‘clean her up’ after the first partner.
Yes, it is indeed a common fantasy among wives—but maybe not for the reasons you would expect.
Part of this fantasy might involve being a ‘hot wife.’ You are her husband, and the two of you share a special bond. So for her, the act of having sex with someone else, while still being your wife, might make her feel powerful, beautiful, and sexual.
It might also feel good to her to imagine exposing different parts of her sexuality to you, and different partners might provide different types of stimulation to help her do that.
Or—the fantasy of being ‘watched’ by you might turn her on all by itself! Either way, there are a lot of variables—but it almost always comes down to having sex with someone else, and enjoying how this affects her bond with her husband.
Women love romance… so much so that most women, at some point or another, fantasize about it. This fantasy may involve a romantic place and/or situation, and it is not surprising that a wife would fantasize about taking part in such activities with her husband!
Maybe it involves a picnic lunch on a romantic beach. Or maybe, she fantasizes about a candlelit dinner where she is ‘wined and dined’ and made to feel like the beautiful queen that she desires to be seen as.
At the root of this fantasy, of course, is a desire to be desired by her husband. If a man puts real, legitimate work and effort into wooing her, it will make her feel like she actually means a lot to him. And that is a huge turn-on!
This is one of those female fantasies that most women actually want to see come true. So husbands… don’t be afraid to break out the candles and cook her a dinner. Put on some smooth jazz, and clean up the house before she gets home. Oh… and dress up while you’re at it! If you set the mood just right, she might surprise you with how excited she gets!
Having Sex in an Unusual Location
No, men are not the only ones who fantasize about having sex in public restrooms, at work, or even in a car! Women also fantasize about this. In fact, some women even fantasize about having sex in a semi-public place, such as in a car while parked in a dark corner of a lot, or along a walking trail during a time when there aren’t many hikers around!
Quite often, this fantasy involves spontaneity and an element of surprise. All too often, marriage can become predictable and ‘regular.’ So switching it up with an unexpected, heated romp in the bathroom at the office can really liven things up!
Public sex can be a lot of fun too. Just be careful—getting caught by the police can really put a damper on the mood!
Want to really spice your relationship up? Take her into the bathroom (or if you are really daring, your parent’s bedroom!) at a family gathering and make a move on her. Show her how much you want her, and make it known that you don’t want to wait until you get home, either. This will probably surprise her and feed her need for spontaneity!
A lot of women love to be dainty and feminine… but that doesn’t meant that they don’t want to be ‘manhandled’ in the bedroom sometimes as well!
Another very common fantasy among wives is a rough-sex fantasy. This could involve sex with a man who uses his strength to ‘roughly move her around’ how he likes, tie her up, spank her, or choke her (safely, of course). It could even include elements of role-play.
Maybe she fantasizes about being pushed up against the wall and ‘taken’ by sheer force. Maybe she wants to feel strong hands moving her around, putting her into positions that he wants her in. Maybe she wants to feel small and fragile in his firm, strong arms. Maybe she likes the sensual ‘sting’ of a hand spanking her or squeezing her in just the right spot.
There are a lot of variables… but you can rest assured that most women fantasize about this at least a little bit!
Yes, one of your wife’s fantasies probably involves oral sex. Most women fantasize about this, actually… though it can manifest itself in different ways. For some women, the fantasy is to give a blowjob that blows their husband’s mind. For others, it may involve receiving cunnilingus in an unusually erotic fashion.
She may fantasize about sitting on her husband’s face, or going down on him in an unusual or unique way that doesn’t normally happen.
Sometimes, giving oral sex makes women feel powerful; and for her, that may be part of the fantasy. But women can also feel ‘worshipped’ when they are receiving oral from their partner—so that may be part of it as well.
You can tap into this fantasy by letting her know just how much you enjoy her in this way. Take more time while using your mouth on her, and make it known that you want some serious ‘down under’ time with her before you move on to intercourse.
If you indulge in your desire for her and let her know that you can’t get enough, you might just tap into some latent fantasies on her part that you never knew existed!
One of Your Wife’s Fantasies Probably Includes YOU Taking Control
Statistically, a lot of women LOVE IT when men take control. In fact, one statistic said that 71% of women fantasize about ‘being pleasured’ by their partner!
In other words, most wives fantasize about being able to lay back, relax, and let their man do all of the naughty work for them. This fantasy usually involves scenarios where the wife is not expected to perform or do any of the ‘work’ involved in the lovemaking.
Ideally, she is told to just lay still, and ordered to just feel and enjoy the pleasure being provided by her willing, eager-to-please husband.
Follow it up with a back-rub that puts her to sleep, and you might just tap into something that will give her the ‘high school feels’ for you all over again!
Knowing That Her Partner is Completely Enraptured by Her
Among many of the kinky and unorthodox fantasies that wives day-dream about, there are also some that are incredibly simple. And this is definitely one of those.
Simply put, a lot of wives fantasize about being passionately and vigorously wanted. She wants a man to be so incredibly and passionately into her that he cannot keep his eyes (or even his hands) off of her!
Maybe he constantly flirts, is always looking for an opportunity to touch and be affectionate, or never passes up an opportunity to pursue or be near her.
Being highly desired satisfies a woman on many different levels. Yes, women are independent creatures—but many of them also have a deep-seated desire to be the sole focus of their man’s attention.
These types of fantasies are usually highly sexual—and within them, one of the hottest elements is the idea that her man’s sexual desire for her matches her own desire for him. But this is not so surprising, either. This ‘equal pairing of the passions’ is likely a huge driving force for many of your wife’s fantasies.
We all want to be wanted!
Sorry guys, but statistically, the odds that your wife has fantasized about having sex with someone else (at least once, anyway) is pretty high. Sometimes, fantasizing about an affair is about the mystery. What would it be like? How would it feel? What kind of energy would she create with a different lover?
Sometimes, though, this fantasy is about the forbidden. We all know that the taboo of cheating is alluring… and while she may never actually do it, that doesn’t mean that she hasn’t fantasized about it.
Affairs are exciting. In fact, there is a decent chance that she has even fantasized about having sex with another man while having sex with you. But don’t get too alarmed. This is actually a very common fantasy, and just because she thinks about it from time to time doesn’t mean that she would ever actually do it.
Some wives love the thrill of thinking about being shared by their husbands with other men. For some women, this might take the form of a fantasy involving a threesome with another man. For others, it could be a ‘swinger’ type situation.
And for others, it could take the form of a ‘gang bang,’ or ‘sex party’ kind of scenario.
But at the core of this fantasy is usually the element of attention. Women love attention, and wives are no different. So the idea of having two or more men putting their complete attention on her? Yes… such an idea would probably definitely get her engine running!
Pleasing Her Partner
Women are, as a general rule, inherent nurturers. But statistically, women are also quite likely to fantasize about ‘pleasuring’ their husbands. And when you combine these elements together, you come up with a fantasy that is not only common, but also quite powerful!
Part of this fantasy includes the feeling of accomplishment that comes from knowing that she ‘got you off’ in a way that was incredibly pleasing to you.
Women feel powerful when they know that they can please their man sexually, so that is likely part of this fantasy as well.
Yes, women love it when their husbands take control in the bedroom. But every now and then—she wants to take the reins. And when she does, she wants to feel like she did a good enough job to be proud of herself.
She wants to be the woman of your dreams, and wants to feel like no other girl can compete with her when it comes to getting ‘down and dirty!’
Speaking of taking control… over half of women reportedly express that they fantasize about being ‘dominated’ sexually. This could mean that she read 50 Shades of Grey, and that her mind has been hard at work ever since.
Or, it might just be something that comes naturally to her. Either way, it is likely something that she has fantasized about at least a time or two.
Domination can take many forms in these fantasies. Often, the feeling of being helpless and controlled is a big turn on. Sometimes, it is the idea of being an ‘object’ to be used to satisfy her husband’s sexual desires that gets her excited.
But for some women, this fantasy may have more to do with the ‘method’ than the idea. Maybe she fantasizes about being tied up with rope, or being held down with straps while you pleasure her. Maybe she day-dreams about being spanked with a riding crop, wearing a blindfold, or being titillated with feathers.
Maybe she secretly desires a little bit of pain. Maybe she wants some candle wax dripped onto her chest, or for you to order her to perform naughty acts in front of you.
However this fantasy might manifest itself in her imagination, one thing is for sure… she wants the man to take control and has a desire for submission that can only be filled in the kinkiest of ways.
You probably want to establish a safe word, though, if you plan to fulfill some of these fantasies!
Wearing ‘Secretly Revealing’ Clothing
Some women love the idea of being ‘almost nude’ in public. This can take many forms. ‘Crotchless’ yoga pants (also known as Sriracha Yoga Pants) are a hot trend right now, and show no signs of going away soon. Your wife may secretly desire to wear something like this around in public as a turn on. This can also allow them to get ‘naughty’ with their SO on-the-spot and at a moment’s notice—providing a lot of opportunities for intimacy that were not available before.
Sometimes, this fantasy may involve wearing a dress—but neglecting to wear panties underneath! It could also include the common trope of showing up to a party in a coat while wearing nothing beneath it.
Some women explore this fantasy by going ‘commando,’ and not wearing underwear beneath their otherwise normal clothes at all.
For some women, this can quickly lead to a streak of exhibitionism… or, the idea of being nude, semi-nude, or even seen performing sexual acts in public. This is a fantasy that fewer women are probably going to explore in real-life, but it may still be a huge turn-on for her to think about.
If you are interested in exploring your wife’s fantasies, then this one might be a great (and relatively safe) place to start. You could, for example, ask her out to dinner… but let her know that you would prefer for her to not wear panties under her dress. Or, you could buy her a pair of crotchless panties to wear under her otherwise normal outfit.
It can be really fun to take small, safe steps toward fulfilling fantasies, because this can accomplish a lot without making anyone too uncomfortable all at once! Remember… take things slow, and enjoy the journey together!
Making Love in a Public Place
This fantasy could be described as exhibitionistic… but for some women, it is not the thrill of being watched, but the thrill of doing it secretly with the potential to be ‘caught’ that makes this fantasy so arousing.
Whether your wife chooses to act on this one or not, odds are good that she has at least thought about it. Maybe she has fantasized about you taking her secretly in the dark corner of a library, in the bushes at the park, or behind some rocks on the beach after dark!
For many women, performing sex acts in public like this, in the real-world, would be out of the question. But… these same women may fantasize about it from the comfort and safety of their own bedrooms; and it can be an awesome thing to role-play or talk about during sex.
Sometimes, dirty-talking about it during the act can be almost as hot as actually fulfilling the fantasy in real life!
Being in an Orgy
Yes, among your wife’s fantasies that you don’t know about, she may fantasize about having sex with more than three people at once—and that would technically qualify as an orgy.
This is a fantasy that she may never actually act on. But it is still likely something that, when fantasized about from the safety of her own mind, sounds exhilarating.
Sometimes, these fantasies include ‘wife swapping’ type scenarios. They could also involve ‘locker room’ fantasies, fantasies about co-workers vacationing together, sexy friends frolicking in a hot-tub, or any number of other classic group-sex tropes.
Explore this one with caution. Even if she expresses that she finds the idea sexy, she might not actually ever want to fulfill it in real life. Sometimes, sexual fantasies are exactly that… just fantasies to enjoy from the mind’s point of view.
Sleeping With a Celebrity
Ok husbands, this is one that you may not be able to satiate for her—aside from turning on Magic Mike and getting busy while she watches it over your shoulder!
Over half of women admit to having fantasies about sex with their favorite celebrity crush—and if we are being completely honest, we can understand where they are coming from with this one.
(Don’t act like you haven’t thought about Megan Fox like that!)
There are, after all, some outlandishly sexy celebrities out there. And as men, we all know that we fantasize about this at least a little bit from time to time. So it shouldn’t really come as a jarring revelation that our wives would share in the fantasy as well.
There could be many different elements to this fantasy. Sleeping with someone who is famous sets you on a pedestal above most of the rest of your gender. In a way, it feels extra-special because it is as if you were ‘chosen’ by someone who could have anyone they wanted.
This type of fantasy doesn’t necessarily involve love, or even a relationship. It might even be a one-night-stand fantasy—but it is a powerful (and sexy) thing to imagine nonetheless!
Sex With a Stranger
This is another one of those fantasies that many women do not actually plan on fulfilling. But… it can still be fun to think about!
In this fantasy, your wife probably fantasizes about sex with a random stranger. You know… the classic trope in which she meets a handsome man, is seduced by him (or seduces him), and ends up back at his romantic suite for a night of intense passion and thrilling sexual adventure!
Don’t be too worried about this one, though. This is a fantasy that most people think about from time to time. But due to the level of risk involved, it is not necessarily a fantasy that many women plan on fulfilling in the real world. This is often a fantasy that women are content to think about to themselves. It could, however, be possible to tap into it through role play.
Dressing up and arriving separately at a local bar could be a great way to incorporate elements of this fantasy into your intimate repertoire. Getting a room at a hotel, and turning the lights down low can even add an intense hint of ‘realism’ to it!
In any case, it is the mystery of the unknown that makes this fantasy the most alluring. And to be honest… can we really blame our wives for finding such a fantasy so thrilling?
Being a Dominatrix
This one might not be quite as common as some of the others on the list—but it certainly deserves a mention.
Remember those riding cops and ropes that we were talking about earlier? Well, as it turns out, she may think about using them more than you realize. She might actually want to use them on YOU!
One of your wife’s fantasies may very well include her in the role of a dominatrix… and there may be a part of her, buried deeply within her shy personality, that wants to order you to crawl around on the floor and beg her to whip you!
This fantasy is usually one of control-reversal. Maybe she feels like she is never ‘in charge,’ so she secretly wants to be in control in the bedroom. Or maybe she has an alpha personality, and wants to make you her little ‘sissy’ boy-toy. Or maybe, she loves the idea of blindfolding you, tying you to a chair, and having her way with you on her own terms.
This fantasy can take many forms. But at the core, it is all about control and domination. She wants to be on top. She wants to decide what happens, and when. She wants to be asked for permission. She wants to be begged. She wants to hold the keys to all of your desires… and then, she wants to use her power to blow both of your minds and satisfy all of your darkest, kinkiest wishes.
Gentlemen, remember that your wife’s fantasies are mostly figments of her imagination. She loves to think about them, but rarely does she ever consider actually trying to fulfill them.
But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t open up and share them with each other. If you can make her feel comfortable sharing such fantasies with you, then you may learn a lot about the woman you married that you never knew before. It might take her some time, though… so be patient. Also remember to have an open mind! Even if her fantasy shocks you, stay engaged and do not shame her for it. It already took a lot for her to open up. If you act too shocked or make her feel ashamed, she might never open up to you about it again!
It is not always easy to open up about our deepest, darkest sexual desires… even to our marriage partners.
Joshua Sigafus is an experienced writer trying to make the world a better place. You can reach out to him on Facebook.